Getting Outside of your Bubble

I was hesitant to write this type of post, as someone who used to be quite biased to the fact that anyone who lived at home past the age of 18 years old, or never left their family community (aka their grandparents, cousins, uncles & aunts, etc. all live within a 20 mile radius) were so sheltered from the world. Has it ever occured to those who live in that “bubble” that it’s when you don’t have that “bubble” or buffer, that is when you truly learn to survive? I have changed my perspective about this extreme way of thinking into more realistic, less-judgemental way of understanding people, or close friends.

When I grew up, I had a lot of siblings around and they all grew up, went to college, also came back for holidays and occasional events, but I definitely knew when I learned what independence was, by the time I was 18 years old, I was out that fall to college. I didn’t feel unprepared, nor was I homesick (not as much as other freshman I knew), but it made me wonder “should I be feeling like them? Maybe I don’t love my parents as much, or they don’t love me as much as my friends parents?” These thoughts subsided when I knew that Thanksgiving was around the corner, and my sister (who was just a semester from graduating) drove home to Oregon.

The peace of being at home, being around those who know you, who share the same taste in food and weird English food cravings, it’s that comfort that was also… uncomfortable. The way I eased into not always being around family is the way we all communicate with our families, or close friends. Having that time to learn about yourself, taking a deep breath and making decisions that may or may not have made the situation what it was, “like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.” (Yes, I’m referencing a soap opera lol) My point is that it doesn’t matter where you are physically in life, whether it is at home with your parents, or living within driving distance from family, the only person who makes the decisions in your day is YOU. Everyone’s family is diverse, from controlling parents/siblings who always have their “two cents” and even deep dive into your social media and are basically the “Family FBI”, to the family who isn’t as present, or you use as a crutch to get you out of a tough spot (financially, mentally, socially) and again, at the end of the day, YOU make those decisions.

Being in your bubble of close family, or friends is what shapes your life, how you make decisions, and when you start to develop a sense of self. Anyone can tell you these days that “it’s all in what you make it”, and to some extent that’s true, but you also have to set up your success in life. Being around constant comfort, or always having family around, weekends spent lounging around your parents house can be great… until time passes, months, a couple years probably, and wonder NOT what Karen from high school accomplished, but about what YOU accomplished. Do you want a family who constantly smothers you, knows your every move via Instagram/Snapchat? Then take that thought, turn it into what will make you happy.

Surround your life with great people who honestly scare you, or can influence your goals in a positive way, and can show you that YOU ARE better than what your mom thinks (I love all motivating moms, but the real world is not as forgiving nor kind)! Live where it’s good for you, but have a plan.